I don't like Mondays

I'm feeling quite down today. It's the same as usual on a Monday. Getting up at 5am to head back across to Sheffield from Liverpool is never easy. Today it seemed to sting more than ever tho. The weekend with Hannah was like living normal life in Liverpool. That may not make a lot of sense, but essentially it wasn't like visiting, it was like it was my home. I really want to be living there already and I just never seem to be able to see clearly enough to envisage it happening, tho I really am determined to make it happen. I just get sad when I'm back in South Yorkshire, counting the sleeps until I'm back by the Mersey. I'm wishing my life away. Hannah is too. But with the demands of her PGCE course and the financial restrictions on me we have no option but to wait for the right time.

Doesn't mean I'm not sick of waiting.

5am is no time to leave my lover
Waving in the darkness
Shrouded in the red glow of my brake lights
I am empty before the day begins
Driving on automatic pilot
Lost in the weekend
Heart still in bed

Holocaust Memorial Day 27/01/06

It's Holocaust Memorial Day tomorrow. Having visited Auschwitz last year and had time to absorb the atrocities that went on I really feel it's important to say something about it. The theme this year is "One Person Can Make a Difference" and I think it's always good to reflect on stuff like this. I know personally I forget sometimes what I have and take for granted that my life is reasonably persecution free, so it doesn't hurt to look at what we can do for others, now or in the future, no matter how big or small.

The official Holocaust Memorial Day website is http://www.hmd.org.uk/2006theme/default.asp

Tis the season to be badly..

Oh I hate germs. And at this time of year it's germ central. I have a scritchy scratchy throat, a tickly painful cough and a general feeling of bleeeeuuugggghhh. That's the only word I could think of to describe it. Only another 3 months of wintry snot to go. Ace.

Sunny January Days..

Here I am, a contradiction in terms. I love the outdoors, the feel of the cool wind on my face and the fresh air in my lungs. And yet here I am, tied to the computer by some imaginary force, staring out of the window at a sunny January day with a beautiful blue sky and wishing I was out there. When there's only me stopping me. I'm such a lazy bitch.

The wonder of the internet

Well what a weekend! It's been a really good one. Met lots of new people - through the KT Tunstall message board on her website. Oh, and I met KT herself too! Went to her cracking gig in Liverpool and just generally had a splendid time. And the reason for the title of this? Well without going onto the message board, I'd never have become a familiar face on there and would never therefore have had the opportunity to get my hands on a pair of rare spare tickets for a sold out gig. I'd never have had the chance to meet a very cool bunch of people on Saturday night or been able to meet KT Tunstall herself. Thinking about it, I'd never have met my good lady either, who accompanied me on Saturday night and showed neverending patience as we stood outside into the small hours waiting for the tiny Scottish singer/songwriter. It's a marvel of modern technology and I know it has its bad points but my general experience of the internet is a very positive one. So there you go AOL. Jot that in your research book. I don't need to go on your site to discuss it.

Belle & Sebastian...

...are a marvellous band. If you've never heard them, open your ears to their current tune "Funny Little Frog". It's like nothing you've heard, but it's FAB. I'm going to see them live in a few weeks. Can't wait. Yay. This is my year of the live gig. Goldfrapp two weeks after...

Teachers

I tell you summat, it's a whole lotta work to qualify as a teacher and then the work never really ends once you've passed the course. I wanted to be one once. I'm not so sure anymore..

Poem #1

I lost you
When I’d forgotten I had you
A bolt from the blue
Gone forever
And now all I can think of
Is everything you were to me
Are to me
Still
When you were here
I was never there
And now you’re gone
You’re everywhere
In everything I do
The places I go
The music I hear
I’m watching bands I know
You’d have loved
I’m crying in the street
Because you’re gone
And I lost you
When I’d forgotten I had you
I’m lost without you
Tho I’d forgotten I had you
Is that wrong?

Falling down

Be aware, be very aware, that if you're walking along texting with one hand and your ankle wobbles underneath you (like they sometimes do), that the act of concentrating on texting with one hand removes the ability to balance and you will tumble down head first into the street throwing your rucksack into the air, ending up facing the direction you fell in, dazed and confused, with the skin taken from your knee and gravel grazes in its place. I have first hand experience. Ouch.

Childs Play

Forget Cadburys chocolate or a big cream cake - Farley's Rusks are the chosen snack food of the moment. Marvellous. Almost makes me want to mush one up in a bowl with some hot milk. mmmm. I didnt' realise how sweet they are, tho. Guess you don't notice when your lifespan is still being calculated in months..but for the record I'm 397 months old now!

Goodbye 2005...Hello 2006

Well it came and went and now we're already 3 days into the new one and all I can say is where the hell did the time go? 2005 was an emotional year, I lost some people who meant a lot to me, made some new friends, and clung on to my relationship with H as we hit stormy weather. I'm pleased to enter into 2006 with a positive outlook, cherishing every moment and valuing the friends I still have around me, along with H. She's still here, and we get closer all the time. I only hope that she can get through her course this year with courage and hard work, and that I can finally knuckle down to getting fit and healthy using the same principles!

Happy New Year to all who pass by this way. I hope this year brings good things, along with the strength of body and mind to face anything bad. x